Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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