he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize