I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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