actually, I'm a sock model
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
