Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize