Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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