Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
