Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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