Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
