Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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