So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize