Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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