dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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