Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
