every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
