Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
