I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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