She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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