i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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