Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
