is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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