I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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