How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
