Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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