all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
