Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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