I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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