Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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