lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm at about main and main street
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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