She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
