I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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