her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
