I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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