ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
