she was so not down for the gang bang
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you had me at cake vodka
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
