2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
