No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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