hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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