i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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