So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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