And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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