My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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