The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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