Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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