He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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