This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had to cum in my sink.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
