I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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