I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
pray to the hookup gods
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
