yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
