My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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