i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
