plz talk dirty to me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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