I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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