wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
