I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
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True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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