some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
