Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
