hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
