I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
