i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
