i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
