We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
